If you are interested in reading an extended version of this story, please head over here.
Thursday, 8:02 AM
Daksh finished his swim and started toweling. Whistling, he gelled and slicked his damp hair to a spike. He felt a lump on his head but ignored it. He winked at his reflection in the mirror.
The ancient wall-mounted telephone rang.
No one was nearby. Daksh picked up the receiver.
“Daksh?” a raspy voice queried.
“Yes. Who is this?”
“Don’t speak any further. I’m your future self… You need to escape this place…evil engulfing…only chance…”
“Hello….”
Crack! His world went black.
Thursday, 8:02 AM
Daksh finished his swim and started toweling. He felt a lump on his head.
The phone started ringing.
“Daksh?”
………………….
Note: This is written in response to the weekly Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.
Word Count: 100
Image Credit: J. Hardy Carroll
Find other fantastic entries to the challenge here.
Interesting take on the prompt 🙂
Click Here to see what Mrs. Dash Says
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Thank you 🙂
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I’m getting a headache from all the bumps to his head! What a horrid loop to be stuck in…
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Thanks for the comment, Dale. If you are getting a headache for reading about the two teeny bumps, how would you feel to read the story in full? Go right ahead and check the full account out. I dare ya…😀
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Two teeny bumps sound like much more as he is in a loop… And Yes, I will check it out
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I found myself reading this a few times 😉
Spooky story.
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Thank you for the comment 🙂 Cheers, Varad.
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Oh nice!
I like this.
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Thank you 🙂
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Great take on the prompt! I like the concept of a mysterious time loop!
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Thank you for the comment 😀
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Great concept. Just think of repeating. . . . . repeating. . . .I wonder if he has any memory of each day?
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He has no memory of events. Therein lies his troubles. Thanks for the comment,Linda. Cheers 🙂
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Very creepy tale. Well crafted, Varad. I hope he comes out of the loop. Wonder what happens next!
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Thanks for the comment, Esha. I’m working on a longer version of this one. Hopefully it might answer some of the questions. Cheers, Varad
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Oh, this is great. Creepy and exciting, wonder how he’ll get out of this time loop. Maybe he meets himself sometime soon.
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That would be very exciting. Thanks for the comment, Cheers 🙂
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As Yogi Berra would say, “It’s deja vu all over again.” Or a dark version of the movie, Groundhog Day. Well done, Varad.
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Thanks for the comment, Russell. Groundhog Day was an amazing film.
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i wonder how many retake before he gets it right and the director shouts ‘cut’. 🙂
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Aha! I love it.
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A great opening hook. We have to read more!
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Thank you! I have decided on a longer version of this. Stay tuned 🙂
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Wow, this is intriguing! You’ve really got me wondering.
Click to read my FriFic
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Thank you, Keith
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Nicely done. This leaves us wanting so much more – why he’s being hit over the head, how he got out to make the call. I’ll be thinking about this one for hours!
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Thank you for the comment. I want to say that he eventually could get out of the loop, but Where’s the fun in that?
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Ooooo love a time loop! 😃
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Don’t we all? 🙏🏼
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Heck no! And Creepy indeed. Love the way you spin these intriguing tales. Another gem.
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Thank you 🙂
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There was a movie with a very sinister twist, recently, similar concept. I feel like my thoughts got stuck in that loop too though, trying to figure out if he’ll save himself 🙂
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Thanks for the comment. Any chance that the movie you referred to was source code?
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Think it was called Looper, with Joseph Gordon Levitt. They were assassins, and killed people who were sent back in time to be killed – closing the loop.
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Oh, haven’t watched it yet. Worth a watch?
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Definitely! Absolutely thrilling. There’s your weekend movie entertainment all set up now.
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Brilliant! Thanks 👍🏼
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I hope it happens enough times where he’ll finally get it right and obey the impulse, as it were. 😀
Good work, Varad.
Five to of five Groundhog Days,
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Hopefully he’ll wise up. And Groundhog Day was an amazing movie. I also remember a Supernatural episode in which Sam is stuck in an infinite time loop and keeps waking up to ‘Heat of the Moment’. Guess these have been tapping the backside of my head subconsciously 😉
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Yeek, he needs to get of this fast before that lump becomes a crack. I don’t give much for his chances, though. Love the idea of this! Maybe he needs to tell himself to duck 🙂
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First he needs to stop wasting time on the swim, methinks! Thanks for the comment,Ali. Cheers
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Ooooh!! That’s great! Ever wonder what you would tell your younger self?? I do… ALL THE TIME! Well done! 😉
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I would tell a lot of things which my younger self will not be too pleased to hear 😀 But this dude is in a right pickle. Cheers, Varad
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Spooky stuff. This is his life from now on. Until the telephone wires are damaged in a storm. Hopefully.
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Well, we don’t even know if the telephone works otherwise. Thanks for the comment. Cheers, Varad
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Round and round in a never ending loop … Poor man’s had it now. Nicely told, Varad
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Hopefully he’ll get out of it……soon. Thanks for the comment, Lynn. Cheers, Varad
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My pleasure 🙂
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Oh no! Poor fellow. Clever take on the prompt!
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Yup, he’s in a right pickle. Thanks for the comment. Cheers, Varad
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Dear Varad,
Effective and creepy.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you, Rochelle. I wanted it to be a lil creepy. Glad it came through.
Shalom, Varad
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This reminds me of the movie Karthik Calling Karthik…good story
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Maybe because of the phone. I was more inspired by Stephen King’s 1408 in which the protagonist gets stuck in a scary time loop.
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I would love to read a sequal to this story…as a reader I feel you kept me hanging…I want to know what happened next… please take out some time and write a full length fiction on this plot… looking forward😊😊
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Hopefully I’ll get a good idea to expand on this one. Thanks for the comment. Cheers
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I am sure you will get idea
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Great take. How many chances does he get to get it right I wonder?
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Until his head caves in, perhaps? 😉 Thanks for the comment, Iain. Cheers
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Weird, really weird! Loved it!
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Thank you! It was meant to be weird. Glad it hit its mark. Cheers, Varad
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Will he ever be quick enough to reverse fate? Good story.
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Fate, or something sinister? Within these 100 words, we might never know. Thanks for the comment. Cheers, Varad
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10 second Tom?
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Haha! Nope. 😀
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Great name , Daksh. I can’t help but think about KCK .
You have written it beautifully, as always.
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Thank you! It’s our neighbor’s kid’s name. This does have the kck feel but I didn’t think of it while writing. Maybe my subconscious rang me up, I guess 🤔😝 But Daksh has it worser than Karthik, I think.
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Worse than Karthik? Wow!
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