Chandru sobbed as his grandfather held him.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Grandpa prodded gently.
“It was horrible, grandpa. I cannot unsee…”
“Calm down. What happened?”
“Remember the school that collapsed some time back? My company wants to build a new school in the same location. While surveying the property, I came across these.”
Chandru placed a pair of dusty, cobweb filled shoes on the table.
“More than 80 children died that day…All because of some greedy official…”
Grandfather remembered. Afterall, it was he who had approved the low-quality school building for 2,00,000 rupees many years ago.
Tears of regret streamed as he joined his grandson in mourning.
Thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting yet another edition of Friday Fictioneers. This week’s prompt is from Sarah Potter. Go, read other entries and enter your own here.
Well written, Varad. It is compelling that the grandson finds the shoes and brings them to the grandfather. I wonder if the grandfather has been “seeing” since the tragedy.
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I’m sure Grandpa might have been suffering in silence since the disaster, but seeing his beloved grandson condemn (albeit unknowingly) his past actions might have been the ultimate punishment. Thanks for the comment, Sascha
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A powerful story of corruption, at least there’s repentance, but that’s probably not enough…
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You are correct. No repentance or punishment would undo the past. Thanks for the comment, Luccia. Cheers, Varad
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If only more officials would feel guilt for their wrong doing.
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If only!
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This is a well-written and tragic story, Varad, and it led me to consider whether Grandpa would be kinder to his grandson if he kept the truth from him and just carried the pain of guilt on his own shoulders. The grandson in this story is already distressed enough, without learning that his grandpa (whom presumably he loves and looks up to) was a greedy, corrupt official who caused the death of all those children.
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I don’t think that Chandru or anyone in their family knew about Grandpa’s sin. And I do believe that Grandpa will carry his secret to his grave. Thanks for reading and providing a great prompt, Sarah. Cheers, Varad
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The grandfather never expected that his sins would be reflected though the eyes of his grandson. A sad tale.
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I’m pretty sure Grandpa would have been suffering all these years as a result of his actions. Now to know his actions being derided by his beloved grandson (though he never knew that it was his grandpa’s greed) would have just heightened his misery. Thanks for reading and commenting, Susan.
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So sad but great story
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Thank you very much, Rosemary.
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What a horrible legacy. So very sad.
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I hope grandpa can take heart from his grandson trying to do a bit of good.
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Yes, that would be fabulous…
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I wonder if he was aware of his grandfather’s guilt?
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Pretty sure he was not. I don’t think he would’ve been this close with Grandpa if he had known the truth
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Vared, wow! This blew me away. Well done. This was very special.
xx Rowena
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Thank you very much for the kind words, Rowena.
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It bites back, in the end, doesn’t it? A well-told story there, Varad.
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Being judged guilty by your own loved ones (even if they don’t know that it was you) can be the ultimate punishment, wouldn’t you say?
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very sad indeed. Karma…full circle. Well-told.
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So true! He might have taken the bribe for his family then. But now he stands guilty in his own grandson’s eyes. Thanks for the comment, Jelli
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Very sad, esp with what is happening in Mexico at the moment
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Very sad indeed! Children do not deserve to suffer or die. There are enough bad eggs in the world who could have met with the fates of those children.
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He’ll remember those shoes for the rest of his life! No doubt about that. 😦
Also like Neil’s reordered version too.
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Cheers for the comment, Vinay. The shoes are not going to go away any soon.
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This is so moving. I feel quite emotional.
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Thank you very much for the kind words, FF.
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Oh, this is really good. The past, in a pair of shoes, coming back to haunt. Chilling.
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Thank you, Linda. Much kind
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A deeply moving tale of guilt and possible redemption. Very well written, Varad.
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Grandpa realizes he has no redemption after his actions were judged by his own grandson as guilty. Thanks for the comment, Neel
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A sad, sad story, wonderfully written. Well done, Varad. :o)
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Thank you kindly!
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Powerful take on the prompt. I like that the grandson’s compassion is forcing his grandfather to face what he did.
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That’s the ultimate punishment, wouldn’t you say?
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Yes, you’re right it would be.
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Ouch. I’m thinking about Mexico City this week with many collapsed, probably earthquake unsafe buildings.
A sad generational tale. I like it.
Tracey
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I read about Mexico city a couple of hours after I wrote the post. Very tragic. There was a similar incident in Kumbakonam (City in South India) a few years back when 94 children burned to their death because of poor infrastructure. Children deserve to live, explore new things in life, grow up, find their passion and fall in love, not suffer at the hands of psychopaths, disasters, diseases etc…
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I agree
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A sad story and so much emotion compacted into those 100 words.
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Thank you very much for your kind words. Cheers, Varad
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Grandpa’s repentance cannot undo the damage done. Will Chandru have the same feelings when he know that his grandpa’s hands are sullied. a very different story, Varad.
https://ideasolsi65.blogspot.in/2017/09/walk.html
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Pretty sure, he wouldn’t hold Grandpa with the same esteem. Thanks for the comment, Kalpana
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Such a lot in one short story. Very nicely done.
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Thank you very much, Sandra.
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You make a good attempt at tackling the big themes of grief, guilt and regret. It’s a dramatic story, and you’ve imagined it well. The irony of grandfather being the corrupt official gives the story great power.
All the best
Penny
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Thank you for your very kind words, Penny. Cheers, Varad
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A sad story about a sad incident that could be true.
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Disasters caused by negligence and greed are far too common in this world. Thanks for the comment, Kelvin
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A sad poignant tale
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Thank you, JHC.
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Well that’s horrible. Grandpa’s guilt revisited. Hopefully there was a valuable lesson learned.
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A little too late for grandpa. Maybe he could carry this lesson in his heart when he is reborn as a slug.
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Chopped and changed or left alone, this is a poignant piece indeed Varad.
Click to read my FriFic!
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Thank you, Keith
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I agree with Neil about the earlier finish. I also wonder if he would mourn with his Grandfather if he knew of his Grandfather’s role in the original tragedy. Great story, and adds a lot of power to the image.
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I really wanted to leave the story a bit earlier as I mentioned in my reply to Neel. But there’s always this internal debate on how much is enough, that makes me take the final call. Sometimes it comes out just about right and sometimes it just makes me add that extra layer of M&Ms.
And I’m pretty sure Chandru’s reaction would have been one of shock and outrage if he had known the truth. Thanks for the comment, Iain.
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I can see how greed come back to haunt him. Especially today when I read the News from Mexico…
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Very tragic news indeed from Mexico. No child should suffer in this world. There should be some mechanism for transferring a bad fate that a child might suffer to someone who is actually deserving of such a fate.
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Dear Varad,
If Grandpa has a conscience at all, this will plague him for the rest of his life. I can only imagine what’s going through his mind as Chandru puts the shoes on the table. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I guess the incident might have been plaguing him from the outset, but to see the shoes might have really been the tipping point.
Thanks for the comment, Rochelle. Cheers, Varad.
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A tragedy, indeed. I wonder whether grandpa will ever confess. If he does, I think ,Chandru’s reaction would be a part of grandpa’s ‘hell on earth ‘ .
Great story, Varad .
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I don’t think Grandpa would ever confess. If not for selfish reasons, then maybe to not break his beloved grandson’s heart. Thanks for the comment, Moon.
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What goes around, comes around …. he is lucky to have his grandson with him.
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I’m not sure if the grandson would feel the same way if he knew the truth. Thanks for the comment, Reena
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Great story. I’d be tempted to remove most of it after “shoes on the table” and let the reader fill in the detail. You’d still have to find a way of working in the grandfather’s complicity of course
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Oh, I wanted to. I wanted to finish with the last sentence after the photo. In the end, I added those two extra lines to give a bit more clarity into grandpa’s deed. Thanks for the comment, Neil.
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How about:
Chandru sobbed as his grandfather held him.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Grandpa prodded gently.
“It was horrible, grandpa. I cannot unsee…”
“Calm down. What happened?”
“Remember the school that collapsed some time back?’
Grandpa remembered only too well. He had approved the building design, saving two million rupees. His heart beat faster as Chanru continued. ‘My company wants to build a new school in the same location. While surveying the property, I came across these.”
Chandru placed a pair of dusty, cobweb filled shoes on the table.
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My take here was that Grandpa had taken a bribe to approve the poor quality structure. Was I mistaken?
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Spot on, Russel.
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This works perfectly. Thanks for taking your time to point things out and a fantastic retake, Neil. Cheers, Varad
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My pleasure
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