Hey
Friend!
Are you ok?
You seem to be swaying
Like a reed in the wind
Are you sure
You’d head home safe?
Seems like
You’ve had
One too many!
Hell yeah!
I’m more than
Ok
I’m just
Floating
A feather in the zephyr
Asphalt and rubber
Whiskey and ice
Watch me soar
Maybe
I need one more!
Look at me
With unfocused eyes
Brain scrambled
Like yesterday’s eggs
Think
Of your wife
Waiting
With your tiny tot
For your hug
Maybe
You’ve had those
One too many?
You nag me,
Buddy!
Are you
Related to
My wife?
Maybe
It’s not your
Place to meddle with
My life
Hey!
Take it easy
Life is simple
As long as
You let it be
Put away that key
Next to that glass
Red blood doesn’t
Look great on
Green grass
Call a cab
Call your wife
She’d be worried
Take your time
Don’t hurry
You have one life
Not
One to many.
You ought to be the brand ambassador for Road Safety, Varad.
You conveyed a message of great social importance so well.
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Thanks, Anagha. Glad you liked this one.
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That’s One Too Little, Varad! You should write more poetry.
Loved the take on the prompt and how beautifully you’ve crafted the conversation.
https://www.rohankachalia.com/2018/07/one-too-many/
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I’m not any good with poetry, Rrohan. I don’t understand metres or forms. I just scribble something from time to time. I’m glad you liked it. Thank you
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well articulated and the clever line breaks did look like two drunks in conversation. Having seen many people have one too many, I can completely understand this one
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Thank you for the kind comment. I’m glad you liked this.
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Nice take on the prompt, Varad! I can almost imagine this conversation happening between two people. What did surprise me was to see you attempt poetry but well done!
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Thank you, Esha. I’ve dabbled with some poetry a long time ago, but just random scribbles. This prompt inspired me to try once again
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The line breaks, the structure of the poem reflect the staccato slurring speech of one who is drunk! nicely done:)
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Thanks, Namy. 🙂 You know the techniques and stuff. I just wrote for the fun of it. 😀
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Well you put the entire scenario in an impressive perspective. I enjoyed it a lot.
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Thank you, Anupriya. That’s very kind of you.
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You know what, Varad; I’m smiling from ear to ear after reading this cute & the most appropriate poetry one could write over the prompt today. Oh yeah, drinking makes one behave like a buffoon who’s really at the mercy of others.
Happy Blog-a-Thon!
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Thank you, Ashvini. That’s mighty kind of you to say. 🙂 Happy Bar-A-Thon to you too
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I loved this poetic expression of the scene. An usual scene in a bar, eloquently expressed!
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Thank you for the kind words, Vinitha. 🙂
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Enjoyed your poem. Nice imagery and depicts the prompt well.
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Thank you, Suzy. You are very kind.
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Nicely done with the prompt. It’s always amusing how invincible people become after one too many drinks! 🙂
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Haha, yes. Thanks for the comment, Sanch. 🙂
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Nice lines. I used to write poetry once upon a time. God knows how do I get it back 😛
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Thanks, Zainab. You should try random poetry. Hell, even I managed to write one 😀
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This was a refreshing change. I don’t understand poetry much but all I can say is that it was a good read.
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Thanks, Sonia. Glad you liked it.
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Wowwwwwww! So glad you participated, Varad! I haven’t , but then I get to read such cool stuff at your blog!
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Brilliant take.. Surprising to see u in poetry..
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Thanks, Deepa. I’m not a poet by any stretch of imagination. Sometimes, I just write down things that come to my mind.
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Thanks, Shilpa. You can still participate. After all the deadline for the first post is tomorrow midnight.
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I could imagine this conversation outside a bar on a weekend
#Barathon Day 1
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Oh yeah! I did. 🙂
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I haven’t read poetry from you earlier but this was pretty good. Liked the novel use of the prompt..
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Haven’t written poetry in years. Just felt like writing after seeing the prompt. Thanks for the comment, Akshata.
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Ok, so I take some time to understand poetry. But participating in various challenges has made me develop some interest in reading poetry as well.
Will keep coming to your blog. This was a good one.
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Thank you, Aesha.
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This was pretty impressive! I liked the structuring of the poem in the format of a drunken person. The imagery that stood out for me was red blood not looking good on green grass.
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Thank you, Shailaja. The prompt immediately brought that particular thought and I took it from there. Glad to be a part of BarAThon again.
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A poem from you! That is a refreshing change. Great!
Quite relevant too. Cheers!
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Thank you, Meena. Haven’t written a poem in years. Just felt like trying.
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That’s a smart one and loved how thoughtfully you did this. One two many drinks and not many, only one life. Well done!
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Thank you for the kind words, Parul
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I have such a big grin on my face right now 🙂 How lovely to see you write a poem. And a nice sweet one too. 🙂 The following lines particularly stood out for me.
I’m just
Floating
A feather in the zephyr
Asphalt and rubber
Whiskey and ice
Watch me soar
Maybe
I need one more!
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Thanks, Ashwini. Long ago, I had a poetry blog full of angst ridden garbage verses. After that I haven’t dabbled much in poetry. After seeing this prompt, felt like trying again.
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